Motorcycle Decals

PG #2


The Ticket I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a pile of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner... This one belongs to the neighbor that lets his dog shit in my yard every day.	This one's really Good! Gone Fishing A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week." "This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?" The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box


A Blonde goes to Lowe's to buy curtains. She tells the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains. 'The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink fl oral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches. Seventeen inches?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small. What room are they for?' The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room. They are for my new computer monitor. 'The surprised salesman replies, But Miss, computers do not need curtains!' The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo ... I've got Windoooooows....	My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I have to stop masturbating. I asked her why and she said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you.’

Southern Skinny-Dippin

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several

years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with

some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was

built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't

been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon

bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women

skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and

they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you

leave!'The old man frowned and replied, 'I didn't come down here to

watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.